Hi there. I’m Katie. This is my blog. I am not a blogger. This is actually my first blog. Doug may have opened me up to a whole new way of communicating, but first, let’s just see how this turns out. This is also my first Mission Trip. Haiti November 2010 was just that for a long time… the title to what would be an experience I taught myself to create no expectations for. I did not want to expect too much, in case it didn’t live up to my grander ideas, but I didn’t want to expect too little either, in case it completely blew my mind in every aspect, every day. I can honestly say, that sitting here typing this as we drive through the rough roads of a poverty stricken country, that the latter is definitely my experience thus far. I do not believe that I am in any way naïve, but coming here and seeing the things I have, has made me realize that my eyes have not been completely open to what is happening outside my fluffy pillow of a life in the States.
This week so far has been exhausting both physically and emotionally. I have been astonished, sympathetic, angry and frustrated with the Haitian people. I have been tired, excited, giddy, discouraged and compassionate. I have been a student and learned from some of the best professionals in the medical field. And I have taken the reins and taught others what I know. I have had many “firsts” since I have been here: my first experience communicating in a foreign language, my first time placing an IV, my first time taking the first assist position in surgery with Dr. Higgins, and my first time feeling completely helpless and broken as I watched a 2 year old boy pass away in the arms of his mother. The last one, at the time, I felt I could have gone without witnessing. But now, I realize that the baby’s fate was sealed, and we did nothing less than everything we could think of to change that fate. So while it was one of the most heart wrenching things I have ever seen, it has only made me a stronger on my journey in my mission to help the people Haiti.
There is some irony here as we continue to drive, now through the rolling green mountains of Haiti, to get to a small village to treat those that may have not had medical attention in over a year. There is so much richness in the beauty of the land and the faith, resilience, and optimism of the people. I have to sometimes remind myself how little they have, as far as possessions go, that in my world are things nobody goes with out. Little luxuries like clean water, food, soap, shoes, medications and a bed to sleep on or a roof over your head. I honestly don’t know what I will do when I get back home. In two weeks I will be sitting around a big table of food with my family in my comfy home celebrating Thanksgiving. What will I do? Will I spoil myself once more and buy myself a new outfit for the occasion and eat until I am fully sustained… I can sit here and honestly say I want to change, but am I really capable of giving up on the lifestyle of spoiled greed I have grown-up in? I know. I realize I am a step ahead of others. I am here, in Haiti. I am volunteering and helping in every way I can. But I still feel egotistic and \indulged. I thought when I came here I would have so many questions answered, which is true, but I did not realize I would come up with so many more. I will be thankful though: thankful for the wonderful and enlightening experience I have had, thankful for the AMAZING new friends I have made and the connection we now share, thankful that when I see my beautiful niece and other children in my life I know that they will never be robbed of the things young children are here, and thankful that my mother and father have provided me with a fruitful life and loved me unconditionally and that my sisters and I will never be separated by deficiency and poverty. I have to thank Haiti and its’ people for giving me a great gift. And while I am not for certain exactly what it is or how it will affect me quite yet, I know it was due to being here and learning from them. So, until I figure that out, and until Doug’s computer quits acting whack, I have to say I am officially done with my first blog now. I hope you enjoyed my thoughts… because they may be the reason we can no longer blog on this computer… oops.
God Bless,
Katie O’Laughlin
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