(Sabine)
I wake up at 6:30 in the morning after going to bed at 2am waiting on Jeff's parents to pick him up. Ecclesiates chapter 3:1-8 is on my mind the second I woke up. I get dressed quickly and head down the stairs to go and see if Jeff's parents had picked up his body from the hospital when I was greeted by Dr. Emmaneul. "He's gone, his dad came to pick him up at 3 am and took him home. He wanted you to know that he appreciated everything the doctors and nurses tried to do for him." I had hoped that everything that had happened the day before was a horrible nightmare but the words that came from Dr. Emmanuel reminded that yes, baby Jeff is dead.
I lead devotionals that morning...I read from Ecclesiates chapter 3. Most of the team is greatly affected by the death of Jeff. I encourage them to go out in clinic today and try to save as many lives as possible knowing that we have no control over making the final decision on who gets to live and who dies.
The clinic is very busy in the morning, and I decide I would see patients today. As I am walking to my consultation room, a woman sitting on a bench calls my name and asks me if I had remembered her. She says to me in Creole "I am Dubinsky's aunt, remember baby Dubsinky the one you helped take care of when you were here in June?" How could I forget baby Dubsinky?...a 2 month old little boy who weighed less than 5lbs. I remember how I and some pretty amazing physicians and nurses worked through out the day and night to save his life. We drove all over Port Au Prince with him looking for a hospital that would admit him just for a blood transfusion. I remember all the doctors and nurses pulling late night shifts to make sure he received his formula every 2 hrs through a tube we put in his nose. I remember crying when he came back to us with all his beautiful curly locks shaved off because they placed an IV in his scalp so that he could receive a blood transfusion. I also remember the anxiety I felt leaving him on Sunday morning to fly back to the States not knowing if I will every get to see him again, wondering if he will make it through.
How could I not remember? I ask her how he was doing and if his parents were doing fine. She tells me that he has gained a lot of weight and is doing great. She comes and finds me after her 3 month old daughter is seen by Doug to let me know that she will tell his father that I am in town, so he can bring him by for me to see.
As the day goes by, all I can think about is seeing and hold Dubinsky. Around 2pm, his father brings him in to be seen by Doug for just a basic well baby exam. I barely recognize my handsome baby boy. His sunken in cheeks that I remember are now full, his pale skin is a beautiful brown color. The baby that was too weak to even open his eyes is staring at me, making beautiful strange faces. His father hands him to me, and the second I hold him, I experience pure joy and love. I take my pointer fingers and run it over every facial feature. His once skeleton like fingers are now chubby, with a strong grip. His hair still has not grown back where they shaved his head, and I can see the site where the IV was placed. I do my best to hold back my tears but am unsuccessful. I hold him believing that he is not real. I bring him to see Debbie, a nurse from Oregon who also worked tiredlessly to keep him alive. She holds him for a while and is thankful that he is a beautiful healthy boy.
I sit with him and hold him for another 4hrs just staring at him as he sleeps. His father comes to me and tells me that it is getting late and they must go. He tells me thank you again for everything we did for Dubinsky and wants me to let the other individuals who took care of him that he is grateful. At this time I am have trouble letting go of my precious baby boy. The father assures me that he will bring him back for me too see when I come back to Haiti. I give Dubinsky a kiss good-bye on the forhead and cheek then I return him to his father. I say good-bye and quickly head to the pharmacy to let all the tears that I had been holding back flow.
Today I mourned the death of an 8 month old baby boy and celebrated the life of one who was very close to death, but now lives in full and beautiful health. Thank you, Dubinsky.
Sabine
I wake up at 6:30 in the morning after going to bed at 2am waiting on Jeff's parents to pick him up. Ecclesiates chapter 3:1-8 is on my mind the second I woke up. I get dressed quickly and head down the stairs to go and see if Jeff's parents had picked up his body from the hospital when I was greeted by Dr. Emmaneul. "He's gone, his dad came to pick him up at 3 am and took him home. He wanted you to know that he appreciated everything the doctors and nurses tried to do for him." I had hoped that everything that had happened the day before was a horrible nightmare but the words that came from Dr. Emmanuel reminded that yes, baby Jeff is dead.
I lead devotionals that morning...I read from Ecclesiates chapter 3. Most of the team is greatly affected by the death of Jeff. I encourage them to go out in clinic today and try to save as many lives as possible knowing that we have no control over making the final decision on who gets to live and who dies.
The clinic is very busy in the morning, and I decide I would see patients today. As I am walking to my consultation room, a woman sitting on a bench calls my name and asks me if I had remembered her. She says to me in Creole "I am Dubinsky's aunt, remember baby Dubsinky the one you helped take care of when you were here in June?" How could I forget baby Dubsinky?...a 2 month old little boy who weighed less than 5lbs. I remember how I and some pretty amazing physicians and nurses worked through out the day and night to save his life. We drove all over Port Au Prince with him looking for a hospital that would admit him just for a blood transfusion. I remember all the doctors and nurses pulling late night shifts to make sure he received his formula every 2 hrs through a tube we put in his nose. I remember crying when he came back to us with all his beautiful curly locks shaved off because they placed an IV in his scalp so that he could receive a blood transfusion. I also remember the anxiety I felt leaving him on Sunday morning to fly back to the States not knowing if I will every get to see him again, wondering if he will make it through.
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| Dubinksy, June 15, 2010, photo by Eric J. Anundi |
How could I not remember? I ask her how he was doing and if his parents were doing fine. She tells me that he has gained a lot of weight and is doing great. She comes and finds me after her 3 month old daughter is seen by Doug to let me know that she will tell his father that I am in town, so he can bring him by for me to see.
As the day goes by, all I can think about is seeing and hold Dubinsky. Around 2pm, his father brings him in to be seen by Doug for just a basic well baby exam. I barely recognize my handsome baby boy. His sunken in cheeks that I remember are now full, his pale skin is a beautiful brown color. The baby that was too weak to even open his eyes is staring at me, making beautiful strange faces. His father hands him to me, and the second I hold him, I experience pure joy and love. I take my pointer fingers and run it over every facial feature. His once skeleton like fingers are now chubby, with a strong grip. His hair still has not grown back where they shaved his head, and I can see the site where the IV was placed. I do my best to hold back my tears but am unsuccessful. I hold him believing that he is not real. I bring him to see Debbie, a nurse from Oregon who also worked tiredlessly to keep him alive. She holds him for a while and is thankful that he is a beautiful healthy boy.
I sit with him and hold him for another 4hrs just staring at him as he sleeps. His father comes to me and tells me that it is getting late and they must go. He tells me thank you again for everything we did for Dubinsky and wants me to let the other individuals who took care of him that he is grateful. At this time I am have trouble letting go of my precious baby boy. The father assures me that he will bring him back for me too see when I come back to Haiti. I give Dubinsky a kiss good-bye on the forhead and cheek then I return him to his father. I say good-bye and quickly head to the pharmacy to let all the tears that I had been holding back flow.
Today I mourned the death of an 8 month old baby boy and celebrated the life of one who was very close to death, but now lives in full and beautiful health. Thank you, Dubinsky.
Sabine
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